


Mother's Day

by LilTheHunger



Category: Books of the Raksura - Martha Wells, Cloud Roads - Martha Wells
Genre: F/M, May-December
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-13
Updated: 2012-05-13
Packaged: 2017-11-05 08:06:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilTheHunger/pseuds/LilTheHunger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What are you afraid of?" Moon demands.</p><p>Pain, she thinks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother's Day

_She strokes his cheek with the backs of her claws, marveling as he inhales and shivers and all but melts at her touch.  It will never cease to thrill her, having so much power over such a gentle, beautiful creature.  She will never stop being proud of herself, for earning his love._

_"Will you be my consort, Rain?" she asks.  He nods, and smiles, as she bends to take him._

***

     Three clutches Rain gave her.  Fifteen children -- and out of them, only one queen and warrior survived.  She has never stopped being ashamed of herself, for failing him so terribly.

***

     Pearl is aware that Moon thinks she does not like him.  He's wrong; she doesn't like _any_ consort.  They are weak, delicate creatures, useless in a fight until they're old, good for only one thing before that.  Moon would be surprised to know that she actually likes him better than most consorts.  It's just that her regard for the whole lot of them is painfully low.

     Privately, Pearl wishes Jade luck and many clutches with him.  The court could use the blood of such a strong consort, if Jade can keep him and the children healthy and safe.  Perhaps Rain's daughter will do what Rain's queen could not.

***

     Stone is angry with her.  Pearl isn't sure what's set him off this time, and she's not sure she cares.  He's always angry about something.  Their line's infamous crankiness is all his fault, much as he probably regrets it.

     "You're doing it again," he snaps.  They are alone in her quarters, Stone having glared her warriors away.  River, brave fool, had tried to stay anyway, only leaving when Stone bodily grabbed him and threw him into the stairwell.  That stubbornness is why Pearl keeps River around.

     (He is much like Amber that way.  Much as Pearl hates Amber for being weak enough to die and leave her to run the court alone, at least Amber managed to do her consorts justice via her children.)

     "Doing what?" Pearl asks, trying to sound bored.  She doesn't have to try hard.  It's difficult to care about anything, most days.

     "Thorn and Bitter are old enough to need queens.  The court needs alliances."

     "Thorn and Bitter will have queens soon enough."  Jade and Moon have made several clutches already.  At this rate they'll break some court record; Pearl's heard the mentors already speculating on it.  Thanks to this, two fledgling queens will be leaving the nursery soon.

     Stone makes a sound that is half irritated growl, half weary sigh.  " _Thorn's_ agreed to be with one of the Jade's girls.  I forget which.  So many damn kids.  But Bitter already turned the other down, and it may be turns before Jade and Moon make more.  He needs something different in a queen, anyway; can't you see that?"

     She can.  Bitter has grown up beautiful -- quite possibly the most beautiful consort Pearl has ever seen.  He is even more perfectly-conformed than Moon, graceful, deceptively delicate.  Every foreign queen who sees him wants him. 

     But Bitter isn't flawless; he doesn't talk.  Frost, his clutchmate, assures them that he is capable; apparently Bitter speaks to her, and to Thorn, all the time.  No one else.  All three of the Sky Copper orphans show the scars of their childhood horror in different ways, but Bitter's healed badly.

     Pearl understands.  Oh, how she understands.

     "Moon is First Consort," she says, though she knows that this is a petty and pedantic point to make.  It is the First Consort's responsibility to consider and suggest suitable matches for the untaken consorts of the court.  But Moon, foundling that he is, has no blood-connections or close knowledge of other courts' queens, other than at Emerald Twilight.  Even Pearl would not sentence Bitter to a life there.  Still, just to needle Stone, she says, "Did Moon send you to me?  Can't he handle his own responsibilities?"

     "Moon says he tried to talk to you about this twice, and you blew him off."

     "I told him that unless Bitter has somewhere he wants to go, some queen he wants to be with, there's no need for him to go anywhere."  Pearl had thought Moon would be pleased by this; Moon seems to loathe all forms of compulsion or coercion.  She's read him wrong, though, if he's gone tattling to Stone.

     Silence greets her words, and eventually it occurs to Pearl to turn and look at Stone.  He is still scowling at her, but there is something sharp and flensing in his glare this time.  Pearl isn't sure what she's done to merit that look, so she just scowls back, her spines lifting just a little.  _"What?"_

     He doesn't speak for a moment longer.  When he does, his voice is low and so soft that he sounds like a different person.  Like a consort and not a line-grandfather, for the first time since Pearl's childhood.

     "I suppose I should be glad you're not sending him away, at least," he says, "and Thorn too."

     At this Pearl does bristle.  "Dust and Burn -- "

     "Cried.  They _cried_ when you told them to leave, Pearl.  I held them on their last night in the court, and they wept and begged me to find some way to keep them here."  His face is full of old anger.  She read him wrong too, all those years ago; she thought he would eventually forgive her for sending the younger consorts away.  He hasn't.  "But the queen had spoken.  I couldn't do anything but send them to their fates."

     Pearl shows the tips of her fangs.  "That's a lie.  As the court's line-grandfather, you have the right to countermand my orders."

     "And undermine your authority if I ever do.  Do you really want me to do that, Pearl, for anything short of a dire emergency?  After this court's been through so much -- after _you've put it through_ so much?"

     He is right.  No one knows that more than she does.  Her reign has been disastrous for Indigo Cloud.  She's thought about stepping down in Jade's favor more than once.

     But in spite of everything, in spite of what Stone might think, she does love her daughter.  How can she not?  Jade is all that was good in Rain.  And why would she burden Rain's child with the misery of leadership when she doesn't have to?

     "What do you want me to do, then?" she snaps.  "Tell me, Stone.  _Advise_ me."  She makes it as much of a sneer as she can.

     He flashes his teeth.  In his groundling form it should not be frightening, but it is.

     "My advice is for you to _be our queen_ ," he says, and gets up, and storms out.

     After awhile, Pearl sends for Jade.  Apparently they have alliances to court.

***

_He is quiet even for a consort.  Unassuming.  A supporter rather than a leader -- but how she needs that support.  She is young to rule a court.  She worries, constantly, that she will do something wrong.  He welcomes her back to their bower every night with open arms and gentle hands and a soft voice telling her that she is strong, she is clever, and the court is better for her reign._

_Of course the court falls apart when he dies.  How can she possibly do this without him?_

***

     Pearl has a hiding place.  It isn't far from the colony.  Reigning queens aren't supposed to leave at all; her sense of responsibility will not permit her to break this rule entirely.  But she goes out of easy contact.  She flies down to the tree's roots, because no one will ever think to look for her there.  She sits atop a gnarled knot, bathing in a single shaft of sunlight that the forest canopy allows through (only around noon, only on clear days, only when the wind is calm).  Sometimes she hears the Kek moving about on the ground below; she's not sure if they see her or whether they care.  She does not react to them.  She just sits there, listening to the forest, thinking of nothing, for as long as she can.

     Someone follows her this time.  She can't tell who -- the follower has a healthy respect for her queen's senses, and stays well downwind.  But she hears the occasional scrape of claws, the rasp of scales on bark.  She feels herself observed from somewhere close by.  A young warrior testing his skill at stealth, or an especially nosy Arbora, probably.

     The observer does not disturb her.  Eventually, when she rises and spreads her wings to return to the colony, she pauses to draw her observer out.

     Nothing.  Silence.  Stillness.

     She would find this interesting, if it wasn't so hard to care.

     Pearl returns to the colony and doesn't bother answering questions about where she's been.  Most people know her well enough not to ask.

***

     Jade and Moon return from an embassy to another court -- Forest Ocean, which is far enough away that hopefully it has heard little about Indigo Cloud's reputation from Emerald Twilight gossips.

     Pearl hates the prospective court on principle.  _Forest Ocean?_   There are no oceans in forests.  Didn't they have another reigning pair to name themselves after?  This court is clearly full of stupid people and does not deserve the enrichment of Indigo Cloud's or Sky Copper's bloodlines.

     Regardless, the embassy went well, or so Jade reports, and Pearl can detect no hint of embellishment or self-aggrandizement in her daughter's words.  (She is refreshingly straightforward, her Jade.  She gets that from Rain.)  They're willing to trade, at least, and they have some interest in doing a short-term mentor exchange for the sake of improving both courts' knowledge and magic.

     "Something bothers me, though," Jade adds, sighing.  "Forest Ocean's not very big; they had some trouble with Tath and an especially vicious strain of the lung disease that hit us a few years back.  They lost their entire ruling bloodline then, except for one fledgling who's only now maturing.  She's younger than me."

     Younger than Jade, and forced to rule a court already?  Pearl pities them, despite their stupid name.

     Jade shifts, sighing.  "This queen, though -- she has no consort.  She's ready for one.  And she's interested.  Apparently Forest Ocean hasn't heard the nastier rumors about us, but they've heard of Bitter."  She quirks a wry smile.  "He's just that famous."

     Pearl sighs.  It's nice to be known for something besides disaster.  "So what's the problem?"

     Jade shifts, uneasy.  "Her manners were impeccable, and I know that in theory it would be good for Bitter to become first consort to a reigning queen.  That would be a nice way to honor our lost allies at Sky Copper.  But... she's a queen who's been raised by Arbora and warriors."  She hesitates again, then looks Pearl in the eye.  "You haven't always been there for me in the way I wanted.  But you did give me what I _needed_.  You taught me how to be a queen."

     Pearl is so surprised by this that she falls silent.  At this, Jade abruptly looks annoyed, perhaps misinterpreting Pearl's reaction, perhaps just not wanting her to get used to it.

     "She's not right for Bitter, in any case," she says briskly.  "Moon concurs."  And that is that.

***

     Pearl goes to her knot the next afternoon.  Where she usually sits, there is a single mountain-tree flower blossom, as big around as her head.  In puzzlement she picks it up, sniffs it, but there is only the scent of the flower and a faint whiff of metal-mud.

     She puts it back down and puts her hands on her hips, glaring around the forest.  Her observer does not emerge.  Perhaps there is no one there at all.

     Irritated, Pearl sweeps the flower off the knot and sits down, but she can't relax.  Eventually she returns to the colony, and snaps at everyone for the rest of the day.

***

_It wasn't much of a courtship.  Indigo Cloud once had the luxury of multiple bloodlines; Pearl was from one, Rain another.  From the moment Pearl left the nurseries she watched him.  Wanted him.  When she finally worked up the courage to approach him, he merely smiled and said, "What took you so long?"_

_This is why she has no idea how to court Moon when he comes among them, and why even the need to court him irritates her.  In her mind and memory, a good consort is simply there, waiting for his queen to realize she wants him.  A good consort does not fear, or flee, or fight._

_Then again, a good consort does not die before his queen.  If nothing else, Moon's a survivor.  That's the only reason Pearl even bothers to try for him, half-hearted as the effort is._

***

     There is a stir in the court when Pearl lands on the queens' level.  Floret greets her at the door, her body tense.  "A formal embassy has arrived from Forest Ocean," she says.  "Their reigning queen herself has come, and asks to meet with you."

     Lovely.  It's a bold move -- too bold, though, bordering on insult.  A reigning queen's visit is a sharp-edged thing, especially to a strange court.  This Forest Ocean court should've blunted its approach via messages or warrior embassies first.  Or a series of visits by Arbora mentors, if they had no sister queens or line-grandfathers to speak for them.  Pearl understands now what Jade disliked about this foreign queen; she may have the rules down pat, but no mastery of nuance.

     "Let her stew in the greeting chamber for awhile, then conduct her to guest quarters," Pearl says, lashing her tail once.  This is all she needs today.  "I'm going to have a bath.  And send Jade up when I'm done."

     Jade is waiting when Pearl emerges from the bathing-chamber.  They confer and agree on a strategy for dealing with the visitors which is at once respectful and a rebuke at their graceless approach.  It is good to have a sister queen again, Pearl thinks, amused by her daughter's deviousness.  It is good to no longer be alone.

***

     The foreign queen -- whose name is Light, another stupid name, perhaps she is simply from a court of stupid, tasteless people -- has come for Bitter, of course.  After several days of calculated delays, cautious meetings, and Pearl's brief and frosty greeting, word is sent to Moon to bring Bitter so that the potential pair can meet.

     Moon arrives alone.  He sits with his usual indelicate grace, which always makes Pearl wince.  Consorts should not look like predators even if that is what they are.  "My apologies," he says to all of them, "but Bitter declines to attend."

     Jade and Pearl keep their faces blank, but Pearl can tell that Jade is surprised.  Light, whose gray-and-copper-web coloring is too pale to hide her emotions well, frowns before she notices Pearl watching.  "Is the consort well?" Light asks.

     Moon's lips quirk in an expression that is pure Stone-sardonic.  By this, Pearl knows there's more to the story than whatever Moon is about to say.  "He's fine.  He asks me to convey that he's honored by your interest."  He inclines his head to Light with just the right air of polite condescension; Jade must've been coaching him.  Light's spines flicker a little, but she shows no overt agitation.  "But upon consultation -- "  He throws that same condescending look at Pearl and Jade, an eloquent rebuke for their failure to discuss the matter with the consort in question, " -- Bitter strongly prefers to remain here.  Indigo Cloud is the court that rescued him and raised him after the tragic destruction of Sky Copper.  Out of gratitude, he would prefer to merge his line with ours, as his clutchmates have also chosen to do."

     Most days, Pearl still thinks of Bitter as the tiny, silent child she pulled out of a Dwei hive.  It is hard to imagine him merging his bloodline with anyone.  Wryly she says, "Thank you, First Consort, for informing us of this.  I suppose that settles the matter."

     "It does not settle the matter," says Light, and though she says it in the most neutral of voices, with the most stony of faces, both Pearl and Jade bristle immediately.  Brilliance, Light's spokeswarrior and clutchmate, throws Light an uneasy look, but Light pushes forward.  "Your court approached mine first.  I've spent days traveling here, leaving my court unprotected.  The least he can do is meet me for the sake of simple politeness."

     She's right.  Pearl looks at Jade, and sees how hard Jade tries not to sigh.

     "We will attempt to convince him to meet you," Pearl says.  Then she adds, sharply, when Light looks elated --  "But we promise nothing, mind you.  Indigo Cloud consorts are willful creatures."  She throws a look at Moon, who all but rolls his eyes.  "If you don't have the patience to deal with that, then you're not the right queen for him."

     Light inclines her head.  "I'll hope for your success."  With that, she rises and walks out, with Brilliance trailing behind.

     Once she's gone, Jade glowers at her consort.  "You couldn't talk Bitter into at least greeting her?"

     Moon shrugs, unflappable.  "I'm the consorts' spokesman, not their owner.  And if we'd asked him _before_ we went visiting other courts on his behalf, he'd have told us his wishes."  Moon sighs.  "That's my fault, too."

     "You couldn't know, since he doesn't _talk_ ," Pearl drawls.

     Moon looks at her, and suddenly there is something hard and meaningful in his gaze that Pearl does not understand.  "He makes his desires known," Moon says.  "He's very clear about when he does or doesn't want something.  I think you need to come to the consorts' level some time and talk to him yourself.  Especially if you're still trying to find him a queen."

     "He needs a queen," Jade begins.

     "Quiet," Pearl snaps, and so surprised is Jade that she actually subsides.  Moon is still watching her.  "What are you saying?"

     Moon sighs and finally looks away, shaking his head.  "Nothing.  I'm saying nothing.  Just... just come talk to him sometime."  And with that, without awaiting a dismissal, Moon rises and walks out.

     Jade frowns at Pearl, but Pearl says nothing.  She is thinking of a mountain tree flower.  Finally Jade rises and heads after Moon.  Pearl sits in the greeting hall where they leave her, for the rest of the afternoon.

***

     Jade sends a message through Balm:  Bitter still refuses to meet Light.  Pearl sighs and sends Floret to inform the Forest Ocean party of this.  Light sends a message back:  she will linger a day or two more, in case Bitter changes his mind.  By this she makes clear that the alliance between their courts depends on her meeting Bitter.  This infuriates Jade, but Pearl only sighs.  Of course it would not be that easy.

     When Pearl returns to the queens' level, she is surprised by two things:  first, that River's scent is there and fresh, but River himself is nowhere to be seen.  Instead -- the second surprise -- there is a slim dark-clad figure lurking in the shadows near one of the bower entrances.  Pearl stops and cocks her head.  "How'd you get River to leave?"

     Bitter comes forward, not answering.  As he steps into the light, Pearl realizes that he doesn't _need_ to answer -- and, too, she realizes suddenly what Moon was trying to tell her before.  Because the Bitter who glides across the queens' hall is by no means the undersized, unhappy child she saved from the Dwei hive ruins.  She's seen him since, of course, but never really paid attention to what he's become.  He has grown tall and lithe, and subtle.  He does not walk directly toward her, instead moving at an angle, watching her sidelong through his lashes.  Letting her see how he moves, his conformation, the carefully-hidden strength in his lean frame... and his beauty.  Oh, and he is beautiful.  His skin is smooth and unmarked and probably soft as satin.  His eyes are shadowed caverns, his black, black hair long enough to brush his calves.

     River has always yearned to be this, Pearl thinks through her own wonder.  Bitter probably didn't even have to threaten him; River must have simply fled, knowing himself outmatched in every way.

     But she says, "Interesting," and folds her arms, refusing to let Bitter see how much he's surprised her.  It isn't hard to guess what this is all about.  Bitter has decided to remain in Indigo Cloud.  He needs a queen.  But not for him some fledgling out of one of Jade's clutches.  He's set his sights higher.

     "That was you, down near the roots?" she asks, letting her tail curl in a not-quite-lash.  "The flower?"

     Bitter nods, still circling her.  He could be wary, ready to flee.  Pearl knows better.  Moon's had the raising of him; he might allow himself to look helpless, but in truth, he is a hunter stalking prey.  Pearl shakes her head.  She's too old for this. 

     "Go home, child.  I'm flattered."  She's not.  He only wants her so he can stay in Indigo Cloud.  "But you're too young for me, and I don't want another consort."

     He pauses, gazing full-on at her for the first time.  Is he disappointed?  Angry?  Impossible to say.  She wonders how he learned to hide his thoughts so well.  She wonders where he learned to use his beauty like the weapon it is, since neither Moon nor Stone have any skill at doing so.  She steels herself against her instinctive reaction to him.

     "You wanted Moon," he says, very very softly.

     So he does talk.  "That doesn't mean I want _you_."

     For an instant there is a flicker of hurt in his expression, and she feels bad.  Then his face hardens.  She has never seen a consort look like that before.  No -- she has.  Moon looks like that, sometimes.  Whenever something threatens him, or Jade, or his children.  It is the look of someone who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, or die trying.

     But he lowers his head, graceful even in defeat.  (Except, somehow, Pearl senses this is merely a lull in the battle, not an end.)  "As my queen commands."  He turns to leave.

     "Wait," she says, and he stops.  "If you really mean that, if I am truly your queen, then you'll come to meet with Light of Forest Ocean.  I command it."

     He doesn't move, doesn't flick a lash, but she is his queen; she can feel his anger.  He nods, however, and turns to go.

     As his scent begins to fade, Pearl sighs and retreats to her bower.  There she curls up in her basket-bed and tries to stop shaking.

     She's too old for this.

***

     Bitter makes her pay for ordering him to meet the foreign queen.

     Pearl can tell it won't work the instant Bitter walks into the room with Moon and Frost at his side.  Bitter is impeccably groomed and poised, politely smiling, the picture of acquiescence.  As he sits down, Light practically salivates.  Pearl marvels that she cannot see the wall of transparent, steel-hard ice between them.

     They get through the introductions.  Light introduces herself as the "youngest reigning queen in Forest Ocean's history, which dates back to the planting of their first hometree."  She pointedly drops that Forest Ocean's current home is their second mountain-thorn, after their old one died at a venerable age.  It is indeed an impressive thing, and if they weren't as small and ill-favored a court as Indigo Cloud itself, Pearl would be eager for the alliance.  As it is, she will tolerate an alliance, because this court of pompous idiots is the best they can do.

     Light finally finishes speaking, then waits, plainly expecting Bitter to express awe and interest.  Bitter's smile has not flagged.  He glances at his clutchmate, and Frost says, "Bitter thanks you for your interest, but wishes to reiterate that he is unwilling to leave Indigo Cloud.  However, in light of your court's reputation and recent tragedy, he is willing to give you a clutch if you like.  Provided, of course, that you do not attempt to claim him."

     Jade inhales, despite herself.  Balm manages not to react other than by widening her eyes.  This is the sort of offer that can safely be made to a daughter or sister queen, but never to a reigning queen.  Brilliance's mouth falls open in pure affront.  Moon looks like he wants to hug the boy.

     Pearl allows herself a small smile at Bitter, when his eyes shift to her for an instant.  _Well played, child.  I stand rebuked._

     Light, after an instant of shock as well, flares her spines.  She looks furious enough that Pearl's spines lift, just a little, in response.  Brilliance touches Light's arm in warning, and Light shakes the warrior's hand off.

     "I have not come here seeking _charity_ ," Light declares, snarling the last word.  "I am the reigning queen of a respectable court, and _I'm the best you'll ever do_."

     Frost, who hasn't mellowed nearly as much as she should have since taking her own consorts, flares her spines as well.  "Excuse me?"

     Light throws her a contemptuous look.  "Indigo Cloud has been kind enough to adopt you, but then they'll take all kinds, or so I'm told."  She eyes Moon, who merely sighs, long used to such digs.  "You have nothing to offer except a nearly-extinct bloodline, and what possible value does that hold?  The remnants of a court too weak to survive on its own?  You're lucky I'm even interested!"

     Frost growls and half-rises, as does Jade, and for a moment Pearl wearily wonders if they are about to start a war.  But then, his soft voice impossibly making itself heard over the fury of three young queens, Bitter speaks.  He is no longer smiling.

     "How many Fell attacks have you fought off?" he asks Light.

     Light blinks, thrown.  Frost flinches and falls silent, her spines quivering.  Jade stares at Bitter, a look of dawning understanding on her face.

     "I --  None."  Light lifts her chin.  "But I hardly think -- "

     "How many Fell rulers' heads have you taken?"  Bitter's voice is naturally low and soft.  He will never be the sort of consort whose growls shake the earth, even when he becomes a line-grandfather.  Yet every word, every precise syllable, seems to strike Light like a blow.  And he keeps raining them down upon her, speaking faster and faster as if building momentum for the killing thrust.  "How many progenitors'?  How many kethel have you fought single-handedly?  How many lost children have you rescued?  How many stolen court members?  How many courts have you brought back from the brink of death?" 

     While Light gapes at him, he leans forward, never raising his voice, just speaking in that same soft, cold, claw-tipped tone.  The contempt and fury is all in his beautiful face.  " _How many lives have you saved?_ "

     Pearl almost feels sorry for Light, who can only sit there, white-lipped and bruised.

     Then Bitter turns and looks at Pearl.  And Pearl realizes he's been speaking as much to her as to this upstart young queen.

     Satisfied that his point is made, Bitter rises, as do Moon and Frost.  Frost is grinning openly, while Moon confines himself to a small smile.  Bitter, however, is still cold and lovely as a shard of jagged black ice.

     "When you've done at least a few of those things," he says to Light, and his tone drips politeness like poison, "you are welcome to return.  I might be willing to give you _two_ clutches, then."

     He sweeps out with Moon and Frost trailing in his wake.

     Silence reigns in the hall for several moments.  Pearl allows Light this time so that she may compose herself.  Then Pearl says, gently, "I believe our business is done."

    Light nods, stiffly.  "I believe it is too.  Thank you for your consideration."  Belatedly, she adds, "I meant no insult to your court."

     Pearl inclines her head graciously, though they both know Light is lying.  Indigo Cloud can afford to be merciful because Bitter's claws have left such deep marks.

     Once she has left, Jade and Balm cover their mouths to stifle their laughter.  Pearl, however, rises and heads out of the greeting hall, deep in thought.

***

_He won't stop coughing._

_The mentors have come and gone, administered what simples they could, infused him with what magic they could spare.  So many members of the court are ill, Pearl knows she can ask nothing more of them.  But she wants to._

_Instead, she cradles Rain's head against her breast, and strokes his soft damp hair away from his face, and folds her wings around him to keep him warm.  And when he shudders one last time and coughs blood and then does not draw in breath again, she does not keen.  She does not weep.  She has spent all her tears on their dead children, lost all her will and drive with that last rattling breath of his.  There is nothing left inside her to mourn._

***

     The party from Forest Ocean leaves that very afternoon.  There will be no alliance, for which Pearl cannot bring herself to mind.  While it's still light, Pearl lets Jade know she'll be away, and then she heads down to the tree's roots.

     Bitter's not hiding his presence anymore.  He has lain on her knot, pressed his cheeks against the thick wood, rubbed himself all over this space that was Pearl's and Pearl's alone.  She wants to be angry.  Upstart child.  Instead, she sits down atop the knot, letting his scent surround her, and thinks of the things he's said.  Then she thinks of someone else. 

     Pearl no longer blames herself for Rain's death, or for the loss of their children.  Learning of the Fell flight's malice and its effect has done much to heal the wounds in her heart.  She knows that she is still young as reigning queens go, and that it is her duty to take another consort and make as many clutches as she can.  Indigo Cloud must grow if it is to survive.

     But consorts mean pain.  Clutches mean pain.  She has had enough pain in her life.  So has Bitter, she suspects.  He is better-off without her. She will tell him that, when she sees him again. She shifts into her wingless form and sits there while the shaft of sunlight thins and shrinks, and finally vanishes altogether, casting the forest into twilit gloom.

     Pearl is drifting, close to sleep, when she hears something not far off.  The sound of a blow, flesh impacting flesh.  Claws on bark.  The snap of an overstressed branch.  A puff of surprised breath, soft snarling.  Not an animal.  Then the sound of wings, and silence.

     She opens her eyes, listens, scents.  After a few moments the wind wafts toward her.  It carries familiar Raksura, and rage, and fear, and just the faintest whiff of blood.

     Bitter.  Light.

     Pearl is in the air before she shifts.  There is a cry from somewhere above, and Pearl loops up to see Frost launch herself from the tree.  The younger queen is shrieking, streaking after a cluster of smaller forms that scatters in the distance.  Light's warriors, splitting up to distract Frost.  Frost darts after one who is large enough to be Light and has the same coloring -- ah, but foolish child, can she not see that is a warrior?  No queen would be so sluggish in the air.

     Pearl is not so easily fooled, no matter what the Fell might think.

     She targets the largest, fastest of the specks in the distance and speeds after it, gaining rapidly.  As she draws closer she realizes what she is seeing:  Light, carrying a violently-struggling Bitter in groundling form.  Just as Pearl catches up there is a deep basso roar from behind, with a higher-pitched yet no less bloodcurdling echo:  Stone and Moon are coming too.  Jade is probably right behind Frost, but Jade is a silent hunter.  Light must be the biggest fool in creation to steal a consort this brazenly, from such a strong court.

     But fools can get lucky.  Pearl unsheathes her claws.

     Then she stoops on Light from above, taking care not to let her shadow cross the younger queen in the slanting sunset light.  Before Pearl can hit, though, something comes at her from the side:  Brilliance, making a suicidal run at an elder queen.  Growing more irritated -- Bitter deserves better than this court of _utter morons_ \-- Pearl doesn't bother slashing her out of the air.  Instead she sinks her claws into the warrior's chest -- Brilliance screams at this -- and flips in the air, flinging her at Light's back with all her strength.

     The missile that is Brilliance hits Light so hard there is an audible slap.  Light cries out and tumbles, her wings fouled by her sister's, and somehow in the jumble Bitter twists free.  An instant later he is in winged form, taking advantage of Light's distraction -- and an instant after that he is on her himself, snarling like a mad thing and trying his damnedest to tear her to shreds.

     Pearl shakes her head.  Catching Bitter by the spines, she hauls him away lest the flailing pair slash or strike him by accident.  That gives Frost enough time to catch up, and at that point it's all over.

     While Frost fights -- or rather, destroys -- Light, Bitter is hissing, spines fully flared, unrepentantly trying to get free of Pearl so he can attack Light again.  There is something uncontrolled, _unhinged_ , in the way he does this, and Pearl belatedly realizes that he reeks of fear as well as rage.  She gives him a little shake and he rounds on her, halfway to her throat before Pearl realizes he's serious.  But he catches himself, just before she would have had to restrain him in earnest.  He blinks as if coming out of a fugue.

     "Feel better?" Pearl asks, wryly.

     He closes his mouth over his fangs, and nods slowly.  Abruptly he closes his wings and presses against her, shifting to groundling form.  He is trembling, not at all the poised and perfect thing he usually seems.  Pearl wonders at first if it is an act, and then she smells the faint sourness of urine through his clothing, and feels the dampness of his tears on her neck-scales.

     Of course, she realizes belatedly.  Light has tried to do to him what the Fell once did:  take him, against his will, away from everything he knows and loves.  Of course he fought back with everything he had.

     Brilliance has fallen into the forest canopy, dead or as good as.  Frost has straddled Light's back, pinning her wings closed with footclaws, and is slashing at her back again and again.  The girl has a sadistic streak, Pearl thinks, and calls, "Finish it or stop now, Frost!"  She will not have it said that Indigo Cloud raises its queens to be vicious.

     Frost flinches and pauses, beating her wings harder to keep them aloft as she comes out of the haze of battle-lust.  Light dangles in her footclaws, dazed or unconscious, moving only feebly.

     Then Stone backwings to a hover near them, and Moon does the same.  Pearl sees Jade circling protectively nearby.  Moon calls to Pearl, "What happens if a court loses its only queen?"

     Pearl considers.  "If it's a strong court, it can petition a related or allied court to send one of its sister queens to start a new ruling bloodline.  If it's a weak court and the old queen is killed in combat, it gets taken over by the queen who killed her."  Frost isn't ready to be a reigning queen yet, but that will be Frost's decision to make.

     Frost hisses and shakes Light's limp body, which twitches a little.  "I don't want this bitch's useless court!"

     Pearl shrugs.  "Then take her back to them.  Maybe she'll live."

     Frost hisses again, but she's calming at last.  "Can't I just dump her in the forest?"

     "Now, now."  Pearl strokes Bitter's back, amused, then realizes what she's doing and stops.  "Queens of Indigo Cloud clean up after themselves.  You need to take out the trash properly."

     Stone grumbles and settles the matter by dropping down to circle below them, holding out a clawed hand.  With a reluctant sigh, Frost drops Light into it.  Stone wheels away, dipping to scoop Brilliance off the treetop in which she lies bleeding.  In the distance Pearl can see two of Light's six warriors flying to catch up, steering well clear of the Indigo Cloud queens.  No telling what happened to the rest of them; Frost probably, or maybe Frost's consorts, who are even more vicious than she is.  River and a number of Pearl's warriors follow close behind the foreigners, "encouraging" them to move on.

     Stone streaks away.  He's fast enough that Light has a chance of surviving, if her court has skilled mentors.  If it doesn't, oh well.  Not Indigo Cloud's problem anymore.

     They all head back to the hometree.

***

     Frost is still too furious to take Bitter off Pearl's hands when they get back, so Thorn is the one who comes to lead him away.  Bitter goes quietly, his head hanging, saying nothing in response to everyone's anxious queries.  Perhaps he is ashamed of having wet himself, or of being careless enough to get stolen in the first place.  Regardless, he's not bleeding.  Wearily, Pearl heads up to the queens' level.

     Moon joins her, shifting and climbing silently at her side.  When they reach the level, no one else is there, so Pearl stops and folds her arms to face him.  "What."

     To her surprise, Moon drops to one knee, shifting to groundling form and bowing his head.  "It's my fault that this happened.  I knew Bitter was leaving the tree alone.  I should've considered that Light might be lying in wait.  He humiliated her; I know how queens get when they're angry."  (Pearl snorts at this.)  "But I just didn't think of it.  I'm sorry."

     This is almost funny.  "Why did you let him leave the tree alone, then?"

     "I knew he was going to see you."

     Pearl pauses.  Moon looks up at her, and she realizes he is not very penitent after all.  This was an excuse for him to talk to her about an uncomfortable subject.  Damned manipulative creatures, consorts.  Even the crazy ones.  _Especially_ the crazy ones.

     "Bitter loves you," Moon says, firmly.  "He's loved you for a long time."

     Right.  "You could've said something."

     Moon sighs.  "I was trying to get him to.  But he's young, and you're -- intimidating.  It took him awhile to work up the nerve."  He pauses.  "You're why he's been refusing other queens' offers."

     Pearl sighs.  "He's too young for me."

     Moon shakes his head.  "I've seen Ice and Shadow at Emerald Twilight.  He must've been as young as Bitter, and she older than you, when she took him.  If it's not a problem for those stick-up-the-asses, it can't be a real issue for us."

     It's not, and Pearl snorts in amusement at his characterization of the other court.  "I don't want a consort."

     "Respectfully, my queen, that's kethel-shit."  Moon gets to his feet, glaring at her.  She remembers wanting him once.  She's glad she didn't win him, though; he's far too pushy for her tastes.

     "What are you afraid of?" Moon demands.

     _Pain_ , she thinks. 

     But she bares her teeth and snaps, "Not getting any sleep.  Go away and leave me alone."

Moon shakes his head, but he begins backing toward the well.  "He's not going to accept any queen but you, Pearl.   Until then he's just going to cause trouble, as this whole affair with Forest Ocean illustrates. For the court's sake if nothing else, you should take him."  With that, Moon leaves.

     Pearl goes into the bathing room and settles into the hottest of her pools, trying not to think.  But she does anyway.  Frustrating.  She used to be better at not-thinking.

     When she emerges from the chamber, she is unsurprised to see Bitter there.  He has bathed as well, and dressed in fresh clothing, and he looks just as poised and perfect as usual.  Like the sort of consort who would never dream of attacking a queen and coming apart on the battlefield.  But this time when he approaches her, he does so directly, neither stalking nor trying to entice.  No artifice this time.  He simply comes to stand directly before her, searching her face with those huge dark eyes of his, and when she does not protest, he steps closer still, pressing his face into her chest.

     Pearl sighs and folds her arms around him.  A shudder passes through him, but otherwise he remains still.  They stand there for a long while.  Perhaps Pearl needs this time to build up her courage.

     Then she gathers him up.  She does not ask.  He is an untaken consort who has presented himself to her, unchaperoned and unresisting; she has every right to do with him as she pleases.  He remains passive as she carries him into her bower and deposits him in her bed.  As she kneels beside him and tugs his clothes away, he closes his eyes.  There are tears on his lashes.  This makes Pearl pause, and doubt.

     The instant her hands leave him, Bitter's eyes snap open and he lunges at her, pulling her down, nuzzling at her collarbones, trying to hold her even though he is much smaller and softer and has no claws in this form.  " _Please_ ," he whispers against her skin.  "I've waited so long to stop being afraid."

     Pearl's doubts vanish.

     "Don't ever die," she commands him.  "Not before me, anyway."

     Bitter looks up at her and nods, solemnly.  "I promise.  I'll never leave you."

     Pearl gazes down at him and strokes his cheek with the backs of her claws.  She will do her best to make him grandfather to a vast and healthy line.  But she does not say this aloud.  She can make no promises to match his.  She can only hope.

     This almost makes her pause again.  Hope?  How strange, and rare.

     Then Bitter pulls her down, and she sighs and yields to inevitability.

***

_She makes herself gentler, for him.  He makes himself fiercer, for her.  It has been this way for queens and consorts since the dawn of time, when the pairing is true.  They are stronger together than alone._

***

     Yes.  Time to try again.

**Author's Note:**

> Pearl fascinates me. She's an asshole, but it's hard not to empathize with her after everything she's been through. So I started writing this, then figured today (Mother's Day in the US) was a good day to finish and post it, because this is a day when badass mamas of all stripes should get some love. This is set some while after "Frost and the Stolen Consorts" and "In the Queen's Service", but there's no need to read that fic to get this one.


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